“Why do you hasten to remove anything which hurts your eye, while if something affects your soul you postpone the cure until next year?” – Horace

Is your life weighing you down? Lighten up! If your soul is keeping you from finding the happiness you deserve, there is an easy, painless and safe solution. Remove it, store it, and walk away a happier person. The Soul Storage Company's patented De-Souling™ technique actually allows its clients to have their souls removed, whether permanently or just for a little "mental vacation." After a simple and painless outpatient procedure, you will walk out of our doors unburdened, leaving your soul behind in our secure, state-of-the-art storage facilities. Later, if you decide you're ready to get your soul back, the procedure is easily reversible… but don't be surprised if you learn to love living soul-free!

We are very proud to announce that our soul-extracting technology is the basis for a new major motion picture called Cold Souls, starring one of our actual clients, Paul Giamatti!

Try Something New on For Size!

The Soul Storage Company offers another exciting possibility: the opportunity to try out someone else's soul! While you're relaxing in our elegant convalescing chamber, take a moment to leaf through our Soul Catalog. Whether you're interested in experiencing the soul of a British guitarist, a Russian poet, or a New York media mogul, our specialists can help you select the perfect new fit!

About Dr. Flinstein

Dr. David Flintstein is a world-renowned neurologist and one of the leading lights in the burgeoning field of paraneurology. During his tenure as an undergraduate at Johns Hopkins University, his demonstration of "Electrochemical Stimulation and Astral Projection in Rats" made national news and elicited a firestorm of controversy. Flintstein's postgraduate work at M.I.T. culminated in a large grant from an anonymous donor, allowing him to assemble a joint task force of biochemists and electrical engineers to pursue his vision of extracting an intact human soul. After decades of experimentation, his patented excorporation device attracted the funding to establish The Soul Storage Company, which opened its doors in October 2005. In addition to his research, Dr. Flintstein has written four books, including the national bestseller The Soul Asylum. He spends his free time with his wife of ten years, Michelle, at their home in Cold Spring Harbor, Long Island.